Sex Detox - Seriously You Should Try It

This blog is from 'From My 2 Cents Reviews,' By Nikki Jo Black

I adore self help books. When I see someone reading one, I think, “Go you!”. Not because anyone can fix their life simply by buying and reading a book, but that someone willing to buy and read a book is likely in the process of improving themselves. In our day in age of “whatever I want, I get” and only-out-for-myself and hiding-my-head-in-the-sand, I wish I would see more people walking around with proof that they self examine occasionally.

So when the Parent Bloggers Network asked me to review

Sex Detox: Recharge Desire. Revitalize Intimacy. Rejuvenate Your Love Life.,

I said, “Of Course!” Admittadly though, as excited as I was about the premise of the book, it took me at least a week to pick it up for the sheer fact that the cover was hot pink with the words SEX DETOX in giant black letters. I read in the airport and on the plane during my biweekly trips to the other coast so I wasn’t sure about carrying a giant advertisement about my sex life around.

But alas, I had to read it. Afterall, the book has received lots of buzz so it must be worth it, right?

So, on my neverending, 18 hour flight to San Diego in January (don’t ask), I opened the book. Three hours later, I shut it. Then I reopened it and read it again.

“Just as a physical fast will rapidly alter your metabolism and natural body chemistry, so too will a sex or dating detox impact your mind and body, enabling you to reset, rewire, and ultimately rejuvenate your love life.”

This book was exceptional. The premise, although at first seemingly unpossible (you want me to go without WHAT for HOW LONG?), is so very needed and insightful. The idea is that our generation has grown up with such a bastardized version of sex and dating that we aren’t using sex as the intimate and connecting thing that it can be when we are in relationships. It has become a hinderence, a toxin to intimacy because in our “live for the moment” lifestyle, we missed the boat at what it could be.

Now, don’t misunderstand. This book is not an absitnence preaching sermon. It’s far from it. But it is a book best suited for those of us who’ve been there and done that and are ready for something more. Something mature and deeper in our relationships.

Ian Kerner writes the book for two different groups; those of us in committed relationships and those still dating. It’s a 30 day program in which you abstain from sex if you are in a relationship and abstain from dating if you are not. It outlines 30 days of VERY simple activities involving finding a quiet spot for yourself, reviewing the topic at hand and journaling so that you can review this journey. He walks you through your childhood through to adulthood, tracking how you built ideas of physical touch, emotional connection and intimacy. You look at your formulative milestones (holding hands, kissing, petting, etc) and how each of those impacting you and how you relate to others now (both intimately and non-intimately). He gives you useful tools to break the cycle of “baggage” that may be preventing you from having the best relationships now.

After the 30 day “detox” is done, he walks you through re-establishing intimate and dating relationships. If you are in a relationship, you follow his exercises for a week or two before jumping in “head first” so-to-speak. You re-learn how to use touch to communicate, both in comforting, friendly ways and intimate ways. You learn how to “read” your partner - discovering new hot spots on each other’s bodies and how to excite each other in ways you might not have known possible. Above all else, you emerge able to communicate freely and without embarassment WHAT your needs are.

If you are single, it walks you through getting back into dating again - how to know what it is you REALLY want and need in a partner, how to give yourself options and let yourself make choices.
In the end, I can’t imagine anyone reading this book without being changed a little bit. Follow the process and find out what “detoxifying” your intimate life can do for you. I’ve bought the book for all of my friends (seriously, I have) and am considering ordering a copy for my mom as well.
This book IS exceptional and I’d say essential for anyone wanting to find that deep attachment to another - even more essential if you’ve found that person because we can all use help becoming closer than you are.

Check it out, please! You can find it on Amazon as well as other major stores and sites worldwide.