I myself had only one kid, she was perfect, she was easy. Here, Kristen Chase from her blog Motherhood Uncensored talks about being jaded since her first kid, Quinlan, was so perfect and son, Drew is ......... ummmm ......... well, he ain't easy. Oh, and she shares about her 'huz' learning about the experience also. God bless em' all.
Enjoy Kristen's story, "Jaded."
"Do you think he's delayed or something?" my husband asked me after having to put Drew in time out for the third time in 30 minutes yesterday.
"Um, I think he's just a two-year-old boy on crack," I replied. "I'm not sure that warrants early intervention."
Nonetheless, Drew is quite a challenging child, particularly compared to Quinlan, and to say he
was a shock to our parenting systems is an understatement.Try taser gun to the testicles.
If we were able to take a step back from his constant motion, chattering mouth, and complete bull in china shop approach to life, we'd see a fairly typical and not that difficult two year old kid. But it just so happens that he has to follow our consummate rule following, easy to occupy and generally compliant oldest which makes him look like a little blonde rabid monkey.
And thanks to her, we've been jaded.
All the bad parenting habits we formed with Quinlan, like asking "Okay?" at the end of every directive or providing absolutely no warnings or transitions between activities are coming back to bite us in the ass.
And hard.
We find ourselves scrambling on an almost daily basis, trying desperately to not raise our voices and provide him with consistency and structure.
I'm not completely convinced that he's that much more difficult than the average 2-year-old (I've seen many a tot in my days as a teacher and therapist), but rather that we're already accustomed to dealing with angel child and therefore we look like we've never had a kid.
He breaks down instantly when not given his way or "the big one" - which is any whole piece of anything - God forbid you give him half a carrot.
He requires constant redirection and supervision, as to avoid peas up the nose, chocolate milk in his sister's eye, and what we're calling "The Christmas Miracle" - when he pulled down the entire Christmas tree while my husband was on the shitter and did not hurt himself or the baby who was sitting right next to it.
And we end up holding him down in time out naughty "zone" since we can't exactly figure out how to keep him in one actually spot.
Don't even get me started with the whole biting thing. Good god almighty.
So, the huz and I are working together to come up with a game plan. We remind each other to be patient and loving with him, even when we want to pick him up by his ankles and shake him.
And if that doesn't work, we plop ourselves in front of the television and watch Super Nanny. Because when we're feeling like complete and total failures, it's nice to know there are people out there that are waaaaaaaaaay way worse.
Some of the comments from Kristen's readers from her Motherhood Uncensored Blog are just as priceless.
I have one kid that we called with love, THE CHAINSAW. It was like she ran like a CHAINSAW, one speed, all day from the time her eyes opened until she went to bed. My other daughter was a breeze as a toddler and smaller kid.At age ten, the whole thing changed. The Chainsaw morphed into a bright and curious delightful tween. The easy toddler turned into a Catholic school girl out of a Billy Joel song. So it's kind of good news, bad news.
Posted by: Michelle Lamar January 23, 2009 at 12:49 AM
I've always been a fan of car seat time outs. Strap em in - safe, sane and wiggle proof.
Posted by: Alison January 16, 2009 at 12:47 AM
Our TWIN boys were born 4 years after our perfect and advanced daughter. I was certain something was terribly wrong with them for the longest time. They are now 6 and I am about 90% sure it is just that boys are "different"! Posted by: katie January 14, 2009 at 09:01 PM
Yeah, I was dealt a son for the first and only. Being a girl, an only child as well, I wasn't ever really aware how a young boy behaves. Haha. All of our friends say he's a well behaved child, just excitable. I'm guessing that's what you've got too. We followed SuperNanny's lead and used the 2 warnings and then naughty chair for 2 minutes (increase with their age). No talking to them. When they talk they get more time. Then we explain why he was put there to him and then he apologizes (usually requiring to be prompted). another way is to anticipate what causes the freakouts. turning the tv off, playtime over, food, bed, bath. I say hey K, in 10 minutes tv time is over and it's bath time. After bath time is time for bed. That way he isn't suprised and has time to process the whole idea. Versus you walking in the room and turning some show he was into off and saying get in the bath now. I mean, shoot, I like to have forewarning too = ) Posted by: lori January 13, 2009 at 03:11 PM
You know those places where you can take your border collie out to chase sheep for a couple hours so they can run off steam? Maybe you could do something like that with Drew. But not sheep - they are too big for a 2 year old. Maybe a giant pen of hamsters.
Posted by: Suebob January 13, 2009 at 02:54 PM
My daughter used to roll around on the kitchen floor screaming and pulling gobs of hair out exorcist-style. Boy am I glad that's over ~ http://blackswanpapers.blogspot.com/
Posted by: cynthia January 13, 2009 at 02:05 PM
Our families are really similar. I have a 5 month old, a demon two year old (born 6/6/06, of course) and a really compliant, sweet 6 year old. I have to remind my husband, and myself, all the time that El Diablo is just as sweet as our first, when the others aren't around which is, well, almost never. Posted by: Carrie January 13, 2009 at 11:05 AM
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