“When they called me and said they wanted to talk to me, I knew in my heart that it wasn’t what I wanted to hear,” said James Davis, 24 hours after learning of his daughter’s death.
Chaundra had been missing for fifteen days, since November 7. The neighborhood had actively passed out photos, fliers asking for any information about this woman. She was only 5'4" and a mother of three children.
I had seen the flier posted at the Downtown Pharmacy on Saturday, November 21. She was an attractive young woman, and the photos reflected someone who was loved. It was the very next day while walking my wonderful, but active Labrador/Great Dane dog named Christopher, that I very sadly found Chaundra.
I was to learn that Chaundra had recently moved into a new apartment with her children and was working in Rockford as a caregiver. Her friends and family described Chaundra as a great cook who loved the limelight. When I hear this, that is, that she was a great cook who loved the limelight, I automatically give a big smile and a 'You Go, Girl!'
I love to hear about women who have self confidence and know they have skill and this was Chaundra.
Her father James Davis had been concerned of late because of the people she was hanging out with, but he also knew, she was an adult and couldn't be watched 24/7.
I don't know what happened and how she died. All that I know is that she had gone missing, and I happened to be the person who found her body in the water, that is at the edge of Rock River, near the train bridge. This water edge abuts the parking lot of a long ago abandoned manufacturing plant.
Someone - some someone - probably drove into the well-known empty parking lot and dismissed her young body into the river, right where it dropped off into the dam. But a floating tree caught her and held her, and she clung close to the river's edge, never going anywhere.
Chaundra had three children: two sons, Javar, 19, and Jonathan, 13; and a daughter, Jamecia, 9. She had a family who loved her and who looked for her when she went missing and who ached and will ache for a long time.
As a mother myself of a child who was very well raised and yet at age 25 got involved in meth, but is now over three years clean, I have learned something: we birth children and it is our responsibility to raise them to be good citizens. That is all we have. We don't have the right to choose what they will do, whether it is good or bad, and we don't have any control really except to try to raise them well.
For Chaundra's parents, I send them wishes that they know their acts of discipline and child-rearing were well-done, well-intended and with God's grace, the best parenting that could have ever been given to her.
To Chaundra's children, I send them wishes to know they had a mother who was wonderfully beautiful in body and spirit, who intended for them to grow into good citizens. I sadly share that we don't know why they lost their mother, but I would charge them to become the kind of citizens that make the world a better place, to make their mother proud of them.
For information or donations, please write to James Davis (Chaundra's Father), at 3216 Blackstone Avenue, Rockford, Illinois, 61101, 815-703-1876
4 comments:
That was beautiful, Patti. I think it is a wonderful memoir in such a sad moment. Blesings to the Davis family. --Lydia
Thank you Lydia; I appreciate it, how can one ever appreciate warmth of appreciation at such a time and yet we do. Yes, blessings to the Davis family and for God grace upon all of us. Love to you so very much, Patti
HI PATRICIA, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANSWERING YOUR EMAIL SO LATE. ITS BEAUTIFUL (ARTICLE).I WISH YOU COULD HAVE ATTENDED HER HOME GOING, BUT I UNDERSTAND. WITH GODS GRACE WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THE STORM. I MISS MY DAUGHTER SOOOO MUCH. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. IT WILL BE AN ADJUSTMENT AND WILL TAKE SOME TIME. WHEN I START TO FEEL SAD AND MY HEART STARTS TO ACHE I CALL ON JESUS. THANKS SO MUCH FRIEND FOR BEING WHERE YOU WERE ON THAT SATURDAY. I TRULY BELIEVE GOD PLACED AND ANGEL (YOU) THERE SO WE COULD BRING OUR DAUGHTER HOME. WITH SO MUCH LOVE GEORGIA DAVIS
Georgia - Emotionally it was too much for me to try to attend Chaundra's 'home going.' With God's grace I am trying to live a life that honors Him and my loved ones and trying to seek ways to keep strong, because it ISN'T always easy. As a mother I learned about hurt also, as I mentioned in my article. When my daughter became involved in addiction and even in her recovery I experienced such pain as a mother. After a couple years trying, trying, trying .....not understanding, the pain seemingly only growing larger than life, one situation finally occurred that 'was too much'. First I tried to kill myself with an entire bottle of xanax, along with glass of milk (somewhere I thought I needed to keep from vomiting unconsciously). When I awoke 18 hours later still alive, my husband broke the bedroom door down to find me with one of his rifles trying to position myself. Addiction is such a demon including the demons it infests in the families of the addict. I have never in my life been suicidal, but I wanted out of the pain in that particular situation, it was finally too much. I did get involuntarily hospitalized, slept alot and participated in a bit of the therapy. But eventually I learned choices that helped me in my studing of being a parent and yet letting go. My years of trying to keep my 'good mom hat' on correctly are trying to come together for me. From that day on, I decided that I was worth living for and it has been easier to keep my hat on my head. I learned my 'good mom hat' would not fit correctly if I allowed my own family (my kid) to destroy me, to destroy what I was, who I was. Your pain is bigger than anything I faced and yet I send much love and support of your efforts for you, your husband and all of your family. Georgia, keep asking God for strength so you can keep your 'good mom and good grandmother hats' on straight for the remainder of your family and for YOU. Chaundra would be wanting you to fight for this strength also.
Patricia
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